Saturday, January 2, 2010

My friends' marriages are falling apart

I wish they would read this blog!

I don't know for sure what's going on, but so many of my friends and neighbors all seem to be getting divorced now. And if they aren't, they should be, because they're so miserable.

"Common knowledge" is that men are the cause for most troubled marriages. (See Boteach's book on "Kosher Affairs.") I couldn't disagree more! I think that in most cases, it's 50-50. Women need to put out more and men need to be more understanding. When my husband wants sex, but I don't, he'll sometimes ask for "2 minutes." That means he gets two minutes to get me in the mood. Usually he'll go down on me or otherwise stimulate me and - wouldn't you know it? - it usually works. Sometimes, he's sneaky and offers me a massage, which usually leads to him fingering me and, even if we don't have intercourse, we each have at least one orgasm. :)

Now, not all marriage problems are caused by sex, but I firmly believe that if sex is addressed, mostly everything else falls into place. When sexual needs are being met (on BOTH sides) you can feel more like a team because you both know that, at the end of the day, you are "there" for each other.